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How to Excavate a Heart: A Christmas, Hanukkah and Holiday Book

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I am a hater of Hallmark movies. This is somewhat surprising since I do all around like the holiday season, unironically celebrate Festivus, and never fail to fall into a rut when it’s over for the year. As it turns out, the solution to my dislike for Hallmark movies is for them to star lesbians. There’s no shortage of sapphic rom-coms coming out this year that center on Hanukkah, Christmas, and/or the general month of December, and if this is the quality that all of them will be, then I welcome the seemingly sudden prominence of the sub-genre.

As this is YA, I do want to bring attention to the trigger warning. It’s there for sexual assault so beware of that before reading this. Ultimately, I’m really disappointed with this book. It had so much potential to be a great sapphic, Jewish romance that pushes against stereotypes and tells a nuanced story of growing up, becoming independent and uncovering who you are outside the pretences of relationships. Sadly, it wasn’t even close to that. I really wish I could give this a higher rating, but due to the insensitive and needless portray of sexual assault, I really don’t feel comfortable giving this anything higher. I love it for being a sapphic Jewish holiday romance, but the actual execution was middling to low. I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review. ❃ This is my second middle grade novel, and the first one with chronically ill characters. The entire main cast is both queer and chronically ill (they all have IBD). I was diagnosed with Crohn's when I w Keep your friends close and the bathroom closer.

There's a way to write trauma-related outbursts, sexual assault storyline’s and relationship issues, but this isn't it. I don't believe the storyline or its ramifications were well executed at all. Sexual assault is hard to write about and have conversations about in general, but even more so when the book is attempting to be a feel-good, lighthearted teenage romance and keeping everything surface level. It really does a disservice to such an important topic. If you’re going to include healing from sexual abuse trauma in a romance novel, introducing this facet of the characters experiences must happen prior to the 80% mark and can���t be used as a pseudo plot-twist.(Note: While the book references Shani’s discomfort over being sexually intimate a few times, it only reveals the reason behind this quite late into the book.) Shani is a relatable main character, and I loved her voice. She has just finished her first semester of university, and the author does can excellent job capturing all the feelings of starting this new phase of one’s life. What I especially enjoyed about Shani is the way she makes mistakes as she navigates all the changes in her life. This makes her realistic, and through some of her messier moments, she is able to grow. Another thing that was well done was showcasing two very messy, very stereotypical (and self-aware of it) lesbian teens in all their messy, immature glory. My last straw was when she's thinking "I should confess this thing to May. This is the time to confess my thing. It's going to be bad if this thing comes out later, I should tell her." And she doesn't ever tell her the thing. At that point, I'm all "why am I bothering with this person who can't make a good choice to save her life?" Every time a thing is hard, she blows it. Morality is about when it's hard. The things you'd do anyway? Those aren't to your credit. And Shani never once passed that test.

Thank you to Kismet Books for the arc! If you’re a book lover in Wisconsin, pop over to Verona to give them a visit!

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Throughout the book, the author also delves into many complex relationships. We see Shani’s interactions with her mom, who she fights with but still loves, with her ex, who left her with lingering trauma in the aftermath of their breakup, and with May, as their relationship develops and they learn to communicate. These dynamics reveal more of Shani’s personality and bring even more complexity to the story. ❀ Diverse Holiday Read Seemingly an unpopular opinion but I thought this one was just fine, which is reflected in my rating. If Shani’s trauma had been a key component of the story and her journey to dealing with her trauma was a main plot point of the book then perhaps my rating would be different. Instead, sexual assault is used in ‘How to Excavate a Heart’ as a ungraceful, forced conflict between Shani and various other characters and never gets properly discussed. Only once is the experience actually called sexual assault and, again, this happens very late into the book. The treatment of the topic in this book really made me question whether or not sensitivity readers were brought in to give notes on the representation of sexual assault. I truly cannot conceive of how this ham-fisted inclusion made it into a traditionally published novel.

Stonewall Honor author Jake Maia Arlow delivers a sapphic Jewish twist on the classic Christmas rom-com in a read perfect for fans of Kelly Quindlen and Casey McQuiston. Shani is a relatable main character, and I loved her voice. She has just finished her first semester of university, and the author does can excellent job capturing all the feelings of starting this new phase of one’s life. What I especially enjoyed about Shani is the way she makes mistakes as she navigates all the changes in her life. This makes her realistic, and through some of her messier moments, she is able to grow. ❀ Complex Relationships PDF / EPUB File Name: How_to_Excavate_a_Heart_-_Jake_Maia_Arlow.pdf, How_to_Excavate_a_Heart_-_Jake_Maia_Arlow.epub hmm, okay. this is probably pretty solidly in the 3.5 stars camp, for me. overall, i would rec it, but it wasn't quite what i thought it was going to be? i think the 'enemies to lovers' isn't rlly accurate despite the way the main characters meet, it didn't rlly feel like it fits that trope. equally, i don't think this is a romcom. it's not rlly funny, it's def more of a character study/coming of age. a romance≠romcom, and i feel like a lot of marketing (esp with the more mainstream publishers) seem to just slap romcom onto anything with romance. i was also under the impression (based on the characters being freshmen in college) that this was more NA and less YA, so i had to adjust my expecations abt what the book was, a little. i think if those things were a little more upfront in the marketing, then i would have enjoyed it a little more, just bc there were adjustments being made while reading.

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It also contained instances of (past) sexual assault and a controlling/abusive relationship, and that was one of the things that were well done.

Let me reiterate: Shani, who we’ve been told reveres the field of palaeontology and for whom this internship is a dream-come-true throws priceless artefacts in the trash… Personally, if I were her manager, I would’ve been convicted of murder after that. As someone who had a huge (huge!) palaeontology and dinosaur obsession throughout my life and who did minor studies in the field during my time at university, I could not imagine liking someone so much that I throw fossils —literal million year-old artefacts that have ground-breaking scientific potential— in the bin, even if it were an accident. Stars. This was a very cute holiday romance, but it wasn’t what I was expecting to read. I’ll go into the whys more but overall; I still thought the story was very sweet and cute and I enjoyed the read for the most part. The holidays don’t play as big of a role as I expected, and in the book the characters celebrate New Years so reading the book now, as of writing this review, would fit perfectly. Full disclosure, close to the end there was a triggering part so I skimmed past that. I had recently read RUMOR GAMES and had to DNF close to the end for a similar reason and just didn't want to do it again. So do be aware of trigger warnings before going into this (the author also provides trigger warnings.) Throughout the book, the author also delves into many complex relationships. We see Shani’s interactions with her mom, who she fights with but still loves, with her ex, who left her with lingering trauma in the aftermath of their breakup, and with May, as their relationship develops and they learn to communicate. These dynamics reveal more of Shani’s personality and bring even more complexity to the story. There are several side characters from Beatrice, the 96-year-old, that Shani is staying with to Taylor, Shani’s best friend. They helped with bringing other parts of Shani’s personality out that wasn’t always shown with her inner dialogue’s. Raphael, the corgi Shani dog walks, was a very pleasant bonus. As a dog lover, I thought his scenes added to the light-heartedness to the story.While this is definitely a rom-com, it also doesn’t shy away from covering heavy topics, especially in regards to Shani’s ex-girlfriend. The discussion around Shani’s discomfort with sex following Sadie sexually assaulting her was handled very well, and I loved that 1) both Jake Maia Arlow and Shani herself drew a clear line between someone not being comfortable with sex due to trauma and asexuality, as Shani is the former and not the latter and 2) that the book did not end with Shani miraculously overcoming her trauma and having sex with May and instead with the two of them agreeing to take it slow. I can foresee some people possibly having problems with the way that the third-act breakup plays out and how it ties into Shani’s past assault, but I think it felt like a realistic response to trauma as opposed to using sexual assault as a plot device. I also love that this is a YA book that centers on college freshman but is still very much appropriate for a teen audience—the college experience is not really central to the book since it takes place during Shani’s internship during winter break, but the element of being alone (especially during a time of year where family is seen as the central focus) is very much there. Also I forgot to mention this in my original review since I wrote it uh. very late at night but this was also SO funny at times. Genuinely some of the most realistic texting (especially the Beep Beep Scene; you'll know it when you get there) that managed to be funny and also feel like actual texting conversations I'd have with my friends. The book reveals at around the 80% mark that part of the reason Shani has unresolved trauma from her break-up with her ex-girlfriend is because said ex-girlfriend sexually assaulted her. Frankly I could just write “there is a corgi who wears booties” as the review and that would justify the rating, but I figure since this is an arc review I ought to give a bit more. Frankly, Shani is one of the worst —if not The Worst— protagonists I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading about. Not only is this girl utterly foul to her mother, she’s incredibly selfish, small-minded and pathetic. oh my goodness, such cozy warmth! this book has a perfect heartbreaky romancey holiday flavor, lots of funny cuteness, and plenty of deep coming-of-age stuff.

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