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The Best Ever Book of Liverpool Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Liverpool just won the league and the government are paying people without doing work Somewhere out there, there's a scouser with a genie in a lamp deciding what to do with his last wish

They served search warrants on his home and office, confiscated his computer, laptop, and mobile phone, and froze his bank account. Your da watches James Bond in the bath and calls himself bubble 07' - Craig Brittles Read More Related Articles As the motorway tarmac exits the toilet the barman confronts him and says...'what was that about? So much for being hard and not scared of anything!' He added: “It can swallow you up here at Anfield. I’ve experienced it myself, but never to this level. You might lose 2-0, you might lose 2-1, you might lose 3-1 – you don’t lose 7-0. You do not get beat 7-0 at Anfield if you’re a Manchester United team or player.”

He wasn't just my trainer, he was my friend and I'm going to miss him more than ever. My mate, one of Paul's favourite sayings was 'when you walk out those doors you're going to feel boss all day', and he was right. You would feel like a different person. His smile and his energy around the place was always there."

He said: “Liverpool were sensational in the second half. I said at half-time, treat this as a 0-0, you’ve got to win the second half, but I did not expect that.He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, “Sorry Father, I almost hit that Liverpool fan.” “That’s ok,” replied the priest. “I got him with the door.”

Despite its illustrious history and optimistic future, Arsenal has seen periods of drought in recent years when it comes to major trophies. This has led to a surge in jokes and banter aimed at the club, with rival fans often poking fun at Arsenal’s recent challenges. The camaraderie and playful competitiveness of football culture mean these jokes are almost a rite of passage, reflecting the highs and lows of supporting a team.Everton pulled out all the stops tonight, examples of such selfless commitment to the banter are rare. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

When the police arrived they needed to examine the body so the policeman lifted the Spurs cap and looked at one breast, then he lifted the Watford cap and examined the other. He then walked away from the body.Gareth Bale was booed by Real Madrid fans after holding up a flag with the words ‘Wales. Golf. Madrid. after Wales’s qualification for Euro 2020. Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Liverpool Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed. My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.' From things overheard in the chippy to some absolute gold from Scouse nans, these are the moments that show Scousers really have got the best sense of humour around.

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