The Charisma Myth: How to Engage, Influence and Motivate People

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The Final Dimension of Charisma: Presence – Being totally present when interacting with an individual Adopt the body language of someone who’s depressed. Let your shoulders slump, head hang, and face sag. Without moving a muscle, try to feel really, truly excited. It’s nearly impossible. Difficult to overcome bad impression ==> May be impossible to overcome in a variety of situations ==> first impressions are very important Warmth is about perceived goodwill, or whether others think you’ll use your power in their interest. It’s derived purely from your body language.

After five minutes, change positions so that you’re sitting across from each other. You’ll likely feel a clear difference in comfort level. In the chapter “Overcoming the Obstacles” you’ll learn how to find the right mindset for becoming charismatic by handling discomfort, neutralizing negative thoughts by recognizing them instead of suppressing them, and alleviating your anxiety by rewriting reality in your mind to better suit you. There are no more than three main areas: being fully present in the moment; acting more powerful; and expressing more warmth. There Are Four Distinct Charisma Styles Being charismatic is also about fighting discomfort. Or, in other words, being there for the other person more than about being there for yourself exclusively. Choose the time or place of the conversation whenever possible ==> sometimes better to wait + the setting/location is importantFantastic book. Cabane is clearly an expert in this field and the techniques described are immediately employable. Not only that but (and here's why the book is really exciting) the speed at which you will notice how people begin responding to you differently is almost instantaneous, or at least I found it to be after finishing the book. Bonus points to Cabane for explaining that one must actually go through all of the exercises to ultimately reap the benefit. The layout of the book is also expertly crafted with a handy reference guide at the end. Plus her writing style makes it mostly a pleasure to read. I feel like this book is a modern day 'How to Win Friends and Influence people', or more accurately is like Dale Carnegie's teachings on steroids. Leading” negative emotions to positive ones ==> Mirror when listening, shift to positive when speaking What if charisma could be taught? For the first time, science and technology have taken charisma apart, figured it out and turned it into an applied science: In controlled laboratory experiments, researchers could raise or lower people's level of charisma as if they were turning a dial. What you'll find here is practical magic: unique knowledge, drawn from a variety of sciences, revealing what charisma really is and how it works. You'll get both the insights and the techniques you need to apply this knowledge. The world will become your lab, and every person you meet, a chance to experiment. Speak slowly. Visualize the contrast between a nervous, squeaky teenager speaking at high speed and the slow, emphatic tone of a judge delivering a verdict.

MIT Media Lab concluded that it is possible to predict outcome of negotiations, sales calls, and business pitches with 87% accuracy through body language alone (no verbal content)Subordinates of charismatic leaders work harder, see work as more meaningful, and trust leaders more Think of the next low-stakes conversation you’re going to have and follow the steps below to show a little vulnerability: Let the discomfort build. Observe and name the sensations you feel: hot, cold, tightness in your jaw, a knot in your stomach.

Reader, pass by! How is this book different from so many other self-help books which promote good deportment? Answer: Not very. For an author who brags throughout the book about her lofty credentials and celebrated clientele, this is pretty thin stuff — and rather stingy with its insights, too. Keep the attention on the other person as much as possible ==> Even when speaking about something you did, use “you” instead of “I” as much as possible (“You might like the book I finished the other day…” or just “You know,…”) Or, think of someone who epitomizes the traits or mental state you wish to have (e.g. wisdom, warmth, serenity) and visualize them as your personal coach or counsellor. Other techniques This book is for anyone that is looking to up their social game or get ahead in their career. As Cabane explains in the book, charisma can help with both your work and personal life, so it’s perfect for someone who wants to be better at networking, give better presentations, close sales more often, land the next job, make new friends, or even get better at dating. If you’re rolling your eyes at the idea of a book helping you become more likable right now, this book will probably surprise you. There’s no “hocus-pocus” or “learn to love yourself” mantras here. Each lesson is filled with practical, real-world-ready tips, and Cabane explains why each one is effective every step of the way. What You’ll Get When to Use: When you want to create an emotional bond + When you need to make people feel safe and comfortable + Delivering bad news + Difficult peopleImposter Syndrome: Competent people believing they are frauds and are waiting for someone to expose them ==> Occurs especially in highly competent individuals Olivia Fox Cabane is a French-American author. She is a regular columnist for “Fast Company” and has previously written for both “Forbes” and “The Huffington Post”. Cabane was the youngest person in history to have been appointed Foreign Trade Advisor to the French Government. Depersonalize the experience. Observe it as a scientist might:“How interesting, there are self-critical thoughts arising.” Sure, I’ve listened to podcasts (you sensing a theme here in my life?), read articles, and heard anecdotal advice, but I can’t say I used any sort of disciplined approach to trying to improve my charisma (also, I realized, it’d be hard to measure it objectively). So, when the book became available at my library, I was pumped. There is some pretty good information in here, but it's limited. I didn't benefit from much of it because the narrator sounds like a teenager. I think that it's quite possible this book could be worth 4 or 5 stars if actually read instead of listened to, but I wouldn't know because the narrator was so off-putting that I tuned her out over and over.