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The “Infidelity is a symptom of larger marital issues” argument implies that if you “cure” the marriage, the infidelity will disappear. They didn’t choose those things—they made a deliberate choice to f*** other people and lie to you about it” (p. They remain in relationship with an unfaithful spouse who is uncertain, defensive, accusing, or unwilling to take the lead in healing the injury they caused. This isn't a book that's going to tell you to work on yourself to fix the problem someone else created in your relationship (so much drivel you get from other books), this is a book that clearly illustrates cheaters have patterns, the things they do or say are never unique. Psych studies have shown that being exposed to hostile humour especially sarcasm is very injurious to the human immune system it also has a negative affect on relationships and psychological well being.
As a Betrayed Spouse, I've got so much hurt 😭 that I have had to work on me, but I was more self aware than my husband. the anxiety/fear just gets pushed down submerged its like pushing a beach ball under water it only stays submerged temporarily. Others may not find the author a credible source because of the simplistic reductionist 'tub-thumping' strategy she uses- they will realize the actual situation is a lot more complex. And this audiobook is a relentless voice in your ear of tough love for guiding you to making it out alive - and well.People don't understand this unless its happened to them" Let's hope this book reaches a wide enough audience to get a new conversation going.
I’ll just repeat my message below, if you know anyone who gets betrayed, get this for them immediately. I mentioned in my review of the original self-published book that I thought the book had some flaws; one has been remedied and one is still there.
Please I think I'm looking for a little bit conformation on what I need to do and that is get the heck away from this loser.
You can be honest with him regarding what you want, focus on YOU being healthy, and create clear boundaries if he does not show the kind if desire/shift necessary for the kind of change you can trust. I truly didn't think anyone would understand how I was feeling after I found out my ex had an affair and we divorced, but I was wrong.leave my cheating husband and create a new life for myself, where all of my love, energy and attention goes to. A good counselor will move these partners into individual counseling or, in some cases, Discernment Counseling, until the cheater is moved to genuine remorse with a desire to take responsibility for the changes they are required to make. The issue I have is this: The reconciliation attempt opens up the faithful spouse to more abuse by someone who has proven themselves to be abusive.
She does a genius job of analyzing what cheaters are and how the “chumps” can survive their horrible crisis and move on. I recently recommended this book to a friend and he had the same reactions that I did to the content. When you ask us to parse and seek to "understand" cheaters you are in effect asking to look at the marriage and see where the non-cheating spouse can be blamed.
He had responded to my discovery of his affair by treating the Other Woman to adultery prom night and posting pictures of their fabulous night out together all over Facebook (where our daughter had access to them).
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