Becoming Ted: The joyful and uplifting novel from the author of The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle

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Sometimes when we think we love someone we make excuses for their bad behaviour, and we hide parts of ourselves that we're told are 'too much'. The idea of mainstream publishers lagging behind is nothing new to Cain. His thoughts about how they’re one step behind in representing drag mirror his experiences as a gay man trying to find a publisher for his own fiction.

I fell in love with Albert Entwistle in 2021 and this year Ted Ainsworth has successfully stolen another piece of my heart. Thankfully Ted is able to help Stanley feel more accepted in his home at Memory House, and Stanley is so proud of Ted for embracing his own wants in life, even at an older age, as it is a fitting tribute to all the LGBTQIA+ people who came before, and who couldn't live a life free to be who they were. The amount of references to RuPaul's Drag Race was ridiculous. We get it, that's how you know about drag, but again the drag that's shown in this is a very specific kind of drag. It's more middle aged gay white men with a particular sense of humour that they think constitutes 'reading for filth' and singing songs from 20+ years ago. The newest cultural reference I can think of was Roar by Katy Perry, a song that came out 10 years ago. It just feels very dated even though it's set now (the pandemic is referenced several times). I know there are people out there who will deeply relate to Ted, and I'm glad this book exists for them, but it very much feels like Matt Cain is simply writing what he knows from also being a middle-aged white gay man from Lancashire.Beautifully crafted characters and a thoughtful, layered plot that explores love, friendship and identity . . . Becoming Ted reminds us that every dream is worth following’ Julietta Henderson You can give someone all your love, and make yourself small in their presence, and yet it still won't be enough. You can be the ripest peach on the tree, yet there will still be some people who don't like peaches. Sadly, these few worthwhile and notable parts could not be saved from the abysmal and less than appealing way in which it was written. My enemy with Matt Cain was the writing and the choices made to make this story stand out in a positive light, rather than the unsavory results that it garnered for me. 😢 Although reality TV shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race have pushed conversations about drag to the surface, the narrative arts haven’t really caught up. As he starts on his path of self-discovery, he will soon be faced with a choice. Will he take on the responsibilities that others have laid out for him, or will he choose to pursue his lifelong dream?

TED isn't a typical conference. The TED audience has high expectations of the speakers; the TED speaker team works with speakers well in advance of the conference to help shape a presentation that will succeed on the TED stage. TED is the place to give the talk of your life. Matt Cain is an author, leading commentator on LGBT+ issues and a former journalist. Born in Bury and brought up in Bolton, he now lives in London. At TED, we search year-round for speakers who will inform and inspire, surprise and delight. Our presenters run the world's most admired companies and design its best-loved products; they invent world-changing devices and create ground-breaking media. TED also seeks out emerging artists, scientists and thinkers, introducing them to the TED community well before they hit the mainstream. After twenty years of dedicating their life to one person, forty-three year old Ted is dumped by his husband, Giles; it's saddening, absolutely painful and horrible the way Giles treats Ted - during their relationship and leading up to it. 'Their relationshipBut what if this could be an opportunity to put what he wants first? This could be the chance to finally follow his secret dream: something Ted has never told anyone ... He’s dumped by his husband but then begins to realise that perhaps it’s time to start living his life for himself,” says Cain. “It’s a story of self-realisation and pursuing dreams. It’s about grabbing second chances. It’s about becoming a second act sensation and how it’s never too late to put yourself first and live the life you were always meant to live. The most joyful, heart-warming, and beautiful book ever. From heartbreak to following a dream, everyone will relate to Ted. I know it's a good book when I put down my wine to keep reading! Much of the plot is relatively gentle with characters providing their innermost thoughts for the reader, but it explores modern issues too. Prejudice, in many forms, permeates the story so that it provides insight into a world many readers will never experience.

Ruth Hogan Becoming Ted is the story of an ordinary man's journey to fulfil his extraordinary dream. It's full of warmth, humour and courage and I absolutely loved it! Loud, proud and ruddy marvellous! Cain’s days of outrageous exploits are clearly behind him now. He married his partner Harry last year and career wise things seem stable. We also served Flat Cap ale from Bank Top brewery in Bolton, and this was so popular we actually ran out! I had so much – an education, a healthy sense of self, a deep arsenal of ambition – and I was wise enough to credit my mother with instilling it in me.’ Photograph: Courtesy of the Obama-Robinson Family ArchivesThe writing is so great too. It’s super addictive, making you read on and fully encapsulating you. It was honestly physically straining to put it away and do what I needed to do at times. I also just didn’t want to let the characters go so I was in a major predicament of either binging it or spending more time with these icons? And I mostly binged but I can (and will!) give it a reread to revisit St-Luke’s-on-Sea and all it’s fabulous residents. I wouldn’t say the writing is particularly outstanding but it’s very readable and there are some lovely descriptive passages. The dialogue is super realistic, sharp, witty, humorous and Yhh honestly just great. There were also a few great quotes and many many takeaways. But despite some completely natural resentment and frustration, Ted's inner monologue is full of compassion. When he applies this compassion to himself, along with some coaxing from his friend Denise and his new loving partner, he becomes who he was always meant to be. I liked how we see Ted grow in confidence, learn to stand up for himself and reject taking the easy way out when it is offered. He has a dream and this time he’s not going to let anyone stop him achieving it, not even that inner voice that tells him maybe he’s just not good enough. As it turns out, he’s a natural.

But usually, the things about ourselves that we're told are 'too much' or that we tone down, whether because of our gender or anything else, are actually the things we should embrace wholeheartedly, as they are who we are at our essence. As Ted agonises about how his parents will react when he reveals what he’d rather be doing than making and selling ice-cream, he’s distracted by a series of anonymous letters that arrive at work, letters vaguely warning him about his family. Is someone trying to sow dissent within the family? Matt said he is looking forward to hosting signings in Bolton both at the Central Library and Waterstones. I've often felt that homophobia and misogyny are very closely intertwined - usually when I've heard people make homophobic and derogatory comments, it's been about how someone 'acts like a girl', and there are obviously stereotypes that all gay men are very effiminate. Giles' character internalised a lot of this misogyny and homophobia, and in his desperate attempt to appear a certain way and be accepted, he also unleashed that judgement towards Ted. Cain gives his characters wise words and insightful observations: Ted eventually understands that he shouldn’t have to feel gratitude for being accepted for what he is; Denise tells Ted “You can only really be in love with someone when you’re not afraid to be your true self around them.” This is a wonderfully heart-warming tale and more from Matt Cain will be most welcome.The development of our cast of characters is well detailed. I enjoyed meeting and learning about their lives and experiencing their emotions and quirks. Cain does a great job of bringing them all to life on paper and painting the scenes around them. By the middle of the book I was emotionally invested in most of the characters and couldn’t get enough of the story. The last few chapters had me in tears and it takes a bit to move me like that on paper. I didn’t want it to end. I resonated a lot with our main character making it a special read for me. As an ambassador for the Albert Kennedy Trust, a charity which provides support to young LGBTQ people who are homeless or living in hostile environments, Cain knows that there are many young people who don’t feel as secure growing up. “I never had to deal with the horror of thinking you’re not going to have a home if you come out.” Ted has some complicated feelings about his family - who doesn't? - and these are exacerbated by his people pleasing tendencies and feelings of shame. Anyone who has complicated feelings of putting family first, or whose parents expected their own needs to be met first, will recognise the family dynamics in Ted's relationships. My considerable blessings in life were now causing a kind of psychic whiplash. I’d been raised to be confident and see no limits, to believe I could go after and get absolutely anything I wanted. And I wanted everything. I wanted to live with the hat-tossing, independent-career-woman zest of Mary Tyler Moore, and at the same time I gravitated toward the stabilizing, self-sacrificing, seemingly bland normalcy of being a wife and mother. I wanted to have a work life and a home life, but with some promise that one would never fully squelch the other. I hoped to be exactly like my own mother and at the same time nothing like her at all. It was an odd and confounding thing to ponder. Could I have everything? Would I have everything? I had no idea.