Office Fantasies

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Finally, the survey looked at the most sexually adventurous areas in the UK and found that Cardiff is the most sexually open city, with 85% of people trying at least one sexual fantasy, closely followed by Birmingham with 83% and Liverpool with 78%. We all have fantasies. Some of them are highly romantic, like being swept away by Prince Harry to join the Royal Family in England. Others are darker, more risqué. We don’t always like to admit to having these fantasies, women especially, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have them. Would you feel comfortable telling your friends that you fantasize about being handcuffed to a bed post while someone coats your body in molasses? You probably never found the right time to mention it. Perhaps we wouldn’t find our fantasies so unusual if we realized how common they actually are. I’m sure it’s not the best idea in the world to start sleeping with your boss. But I couldn’t remember ever having such a strong physical and mental connection with someone, and I trusted him, he was going to act responsibly for both of us, if something bad happened and things weren’t great, he could help me get a similar job somewhere else. I didn’t want to say no to something so intoxicating for a job I cared very little about. Be prepared for the discussion to get intimate and frank – if you want to talk about the possibility of engaging in group sex, be aware that your partner may be hurt by this, and you will need to provide reassurance.

The day flew by because all I did was daydream about various fantasies I wanted to recreate with Mr. Singer. As people started to leave for the day, I was confused to see him, too, in his overcoat. “Adrienne, I’m sorry, you’ll have to pull the files without me, I’ve got a last minute dinner I need to attend.” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my face, I’m sure he caught it, but I didn’t really care. I was all wound up… for nothing. “Sure thing.” Morality: fantasy can help you escape your dreary, everyday life at the office; it can also cause a great deal of havoc. But it’s something you can also act on, provided the conditions are met to allow it to flourish outside the context of power relationships. So what if you invited your colleague to step out the usual framework, and let yourself be surprised by reality? While we need to be mindful of our partners boundaries and respect their right to say no, there’s no harm in broaching the subject with a sexual partner.More reserved cities on the list were London, with 34% of people never trying out a sexual fantasy in real life, followed by Brighton (32%) and Edinburgh (31%).

However, this unique place that is the office can also hold some pleasant surprises, since 16% of all couples are formed there. So how can we arbitrate this choice? Could your colleague turn out to be the love of your life? Spruce up your old home office space by creating a white office. The fresh white hue is a great way to make the entire room look brighter and bigger, even if you have a small office. Obviously, it’s difficult to assess the sincerity of our own desire. Immanuel Kant would probably advise you to ask yourself this question: is the other a means for me, or an end? A test would be to imagine the other naked, stripped of their position in the company, of their place in the hierarchy, their uniform or blouse, and see if the desire remains intact. Imagine your colleague in their simplest form: you’ll see if they’re as attractive as they are when they’re talking in a meeting! Sir’ now, is it?” He asked, moving next to me, standing above me looking down with that look on his face. But office romance doesn’t necessarily represent an escape from reality. Over time, sharing the same workspace and “corporate culture” can lead to desires which we might one day want to act on. According to Ifop, 35% of French people have already had sexual relations with someone in their professional environment (including 33% at their workplace). So it’s more than a mere possibility. Anyone can start wondering : should I try to fulfil my fantasy?The phenomenon, which is common even among employees already in a relationship, could illustrate what might be called the “vital function” of fantasy. Today, we live in a society full of paradoxes. On the one hand, the monogamous couple remains the norm: individuals seek a lasting partner, often to ensure the constancy of their emotional stability and out of fear of living alone. On the other hand, they’re constantly encouraged to accumulate ephemeral sexual experiences. Reactions have varied. ‘Some guys were perplexed and couldn’t understand it, but gave it a go and didn’t like it. Others have been intrigued and embraced it.’ Initially, Annabelle was unaware that there was a name for her new interest. ‘I just wanted more naked men in my life! Then a friend said, “this is CFNM!” I looked into it, and started watching porn on it and getting into groups and meet-ups around it.’ Immanuel Kant would probably advise you to ask yourself this question: is the other a means for me, or an end?’

Get up,” he said, hurriedly lifting me up and spinning me around. He grabbed my breasts roughly, bending me forward over the desk. My only thought was, Yessss. According to Annabelle, her events tend to start with a striptease from the men. ‘A performance is a must – if they just take their clothes off, what’s the point?’ She says. ‘Forfeits for the worst will be determined by us ladies. It could be a spanking or we might make them melt an ice cube in their bum – it’s entertaining to see them squirm.’ Sex researchers have wondered the same thing. Several research studies have focused on what women fantasize about. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, entitled “What Exactly Is an Unusual Fantasy?”, wanted to determine which sexual fantasies are common among women. The researchers asked women living in Quebec to answer the Wilson’s Sex Fantasy Questionnaire. 799 women completed the questionnaire, of which the majority were heterosexual. The fifteen most common fantasies as reported by these women are listed below.Ideally, you could take advantage of an event that might merge the private and professional spheres – or even provoke it. Why not try to get close to them during the annual seminar in the countryside, or ask if they’d like to meet up in another setting? We sometimes need to change space to reveal other facets of our multiple identities: we’re not the same at work and outside. A friend told me they only started to see her handsome colleague in a new light after she accepted his invitation to attend the Dunkirk carnival. Now, they form a happy couple. Activities include massages and ‘competitions such as a wank-off’. ‘The guys wank themselves and the last one to cum wins,’ says Annabelle. ‘Sometimes we give them a cookie – it’s kind of a joke prize – but really it’s for the honour of knowing he lasted longer.’ Annabelle doubts that she could sustain a relationship with a guy who wasn’t into CFNM, explaining: ‘There’s nothing better than being clothed in front of a hot naked man, commanding and dictating his every action.’ For Terry, feeling embarrassed is part of the fun – despite being at the larger end of the line-up. He explains, ‘it’s still embarrassing getting measured, and being naked with other people – especially when it’s only the men who are naked. I like the embarrassment of being exposed, and the comments I get from being viewed. I enjoy it and get turned on.’

Annabelle, who organises CFNM events, echoes Terry when she says, ‘only once did we do some dominatrix style attire. Usually we don’t wear anything in particular – just normal clothes – nothing that excites the men too much.’ Without espousing the totalitarian aspects of those asylums and prisons that Goffman studied in the United States, companies do constitute a unit of space and time where individuals can be temporarily cut off from the world, which follows a rhythm of its own, with its own codes. Annabelle, who’s a lawyer, now runs her own bijou private parties once a month. She says: ‘I’ve got one coming up at an Air B&B in Lewisham. We’re hiring it for the day so the men can serve us afternoon tea naked.’

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As a single woman, Annabelle has ‘played’ with the men at these events, ‘as in I’ve got them erect and kept them erect, but not given a hand-job to completion. I like watching them complete.’ When Annabelle is in a relationship, she’ll take her partner to the event, and the only ‘playing’ will be with her partner – who will be off-limits to other women at the event. This is something you have to be patient and understanding about, because sex means different things to everyone, and the conversation shouldn’t be forced. I’m going to need you to stay late tonight and pull some records so I can prepare for the DRC meeting tomorrow.