Want to be Spanked?

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I love to be spanked when it's a Good Girl sexy spanking. Those make me so hot, and there is nothing like the sex after one. My husband will give me the spanking on my bare bottom, over his knee so that he can penetrate me vaginally and/or rectally with his fingers during or after the spanking.

Then listen to me (because your wife/girlfriend may be too shy or embarrassed to say it again). This is NOT something that just came up She has probably had this need since childhood. Please trust your lover, if she says she wants to be spanked – SHE DOES!

The Origins of Submissiveness

Over the next several months she spanked my regularly. The spankings were something I tried to avoid as they invariably left marks and made it uncomfortable to sit for a day or two. When I was 21, right after I graduated from college, I began dating Brandon, a brilliant, charismatic, confident 22-year-old. I loved how his dominant, even arrogant, personality manifested itself between the sheets. (Really, the only place I could put up with such a personality.) I didn’t have to ask for him to spank or dominate me because he did it naturally, and I didn’t feel like I was “choosing” to be submissive. But when we broke up after nine months, I knew I wanted the next guy I dated to be dominant in bed, like Brandon had been. I did a little Googling about submission and spanking fetishes and discovered it was a lot of other people’s fetishes, as well. I must also understand that by doing so, I would be relinquishing the real domestic discipline element/lifestyle that we have developed and that has worked so well for us. There are some that take punishment spankings up to a point, then safeword out. I’m not opposed to that if that is what works for you. What ~I~ set out to do was to be truly accountable and take what SHE assigns and gives. Keep in mind, while the spankings are very real, very harsh, and very painful, there has never been a time where it has been abusive or sadistic. This woman loves me. We are soulmates and were soulmates before we ever started down this road. We are lovers and best friends, and she knows me better than anyone else in the world. Lastly, because we’ve been doing this for a while, she knows my limits. She knows how far to take things and I trust her implicitly.

Answer: Not at all. Again, this is consensual. I could tell her I don’t want to do it anymore but I have come to understand and appreciate its value…to me, to her, and to our relationship. There is so much trust and communication that is necessary when doing this kind of thing, that it has actually taken our love, trust, and intimacy to new levels. My wife wrote a great post about the benefits of having a spanking relationship with your husband, that highlights some great points regarding its ability to help eliminate tension between a couple. Reclaiming or relinquishing power through the act of spanking may help some people regain psychological control over past traumatic events. Authentic hand spanking on my very cheeky pert bare bottom .A very angry headmistress (wife) can and does apply punishment often and soundly . Wuyts, E., et al. (2020). Between pleasure and pain: A pilot study on the biological mechanisms associated with BDSM interactions in dominants and submissives [Abstract]. Let it all out. Apologize profusely. You deserve it. You've done wrong. This is what right feels like. Be proud of your strength. Suffer for as long as he decides. He'll know from your answers when you're truly sorry.Spanking is a thing? A sexy thing?" she asked. When I nodded, she paused for a moment. “OK, I'll give it a try." To match they raised the humiliation to more nudity, sometimes naked or allowed just a bra...or more humiliating positions like all 4's on the bed, the diaper position, grabbing ankles and spreading legs apart...and also doing more spankings in the kitchen, living room or other places where my siblings would also see them. The humiliation included staying in positions after the spanking ended for a period of time and them talking openly about my spankings with their friends. There were times when I was made to show the marks to their friends and plenty of times when they allowed other people to spank me. At times, spanking was an obsession, and one made all the more torturous for the shame I felt harboring it. For more than 20 years I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought that if, by chance, someone else felt the same way, then they'd be a dirty old man with a grubby overcoat and bulging eyes. But I couldn't help it. I didn't choose to be kinky in this way, any more than a man or woman chooses to be straight or gay. The way I saw it, homosexuals had their closet and I had mine. Only mine was a lot smaller, and I was the only one in it. When I was in my 20s I moved in with a women 12 years my senior. She was quite beautiful and sophisticated. I was living in her house and shortly aster moving in she began to discuss “rules of the house.” I was attracted to her and needed a place to stay so I listened and when she first said violations would be met with swift stern punishment. I felt a strange sense of titillation and I thought ok I will go along. She asked if I had been spanked by my mom growing up and when I said no, she said it showed. She lived in a duplex she shared with her aging mother and when she thought I hadn’t shown her mother the proper degree of respect she scolded me and listed a number of infractions that she deemed worthy of correction.

Nearly half (46%) said they felt turned on by role-playing. “I get very aroused serving another’s needs.” “I have powerful fantasies of seeing myself as the devoted slave of a powerful owner.” “I trust my dom to hurt me but never cause real harm. With the deep trust we share, we can experiment with all kinds of consensual non-consent.”One-quarter (22%) said they became subs as a result of life experiences. Half of that group (11%) said they’d been traumatized and sexualized it. “I was sexually abused as a child. It made me submissive.” “Both of my parents spanked me. I and grew up wanting punishment.” The other half, like Anastasia Steele, were introduced to BDSM as adults by lovers, and enjoyed it. Sagarin, B. J., et al. (2015). Sadomasochism without sex? Exploring the parallels between BDSM and extreme rituals. In your reply to SADSON, you are clearly taking sides based on how comfortable you must be about withholding the truth from a partner. You say the father should have “kept his mouth shut” about the affair he had! You know nothing about this couple’s values and decisions! Who are you to push your views on others? Many of us consider lying about cheating reprehensible! And the last sentence of your response (“I hope there were other women”) was astonishingly juvenile, mean-spirited, and vindictive—and for what reason? To take sides against a clearly tormented heterosexual woman! Disgusting and shameful! —Thoroughly Appalling Take Enrages Reader A 2019 study looked at how Canadian university students thought about BDSM practices, with 60% of male participants and 31% of female participants having positive thoughts about whipping or spanking. Where can a person learn more about spanking therapy?

But as long as you are aware of the risks, and have a consenting partner who also wants to try this with you, there is nothing wrong with wanting what it is you want from sex. The truly important question here isn’t why you want this, SPANK, but how much more time you’re going to waste sitting on your ass wondering why you want this when you could be out there getting that ass spanked? And even if you came up with a neat and tidy answer, you’re still going to want older men to spank you. Because getting to the bottom of a kink—identifying some childhood trauma that explains everything—isn’t a cure. Instead of seeing the spankings you want as a riddle you need to solve, you should see them as a reward for all the wondering you’ve had to do. If you need a label, SPANK, just say you’re bisexual for spankings. Not bi for blow jobs, not bi for anal, not bi for JO or mutual masturbation. Just bi for spankings. —Dan Savage According to an article in The Journal of Sex Research, people may engage in spanking therapy for a range of reasons, such as : Hi juliewr. I wrote in one of your other posts and was triggered by the story. I also read your story trying to protect your niece. I am not sure what could be useful to you at this time. To me it was useful to read your story. As always, trauma memories come to me as if they were made up, invented by my imagination. So, remembering what happened to me (spanking, forced sex, etc.) was "unhappy".Let me clarify something: I'm not "into" spanking the way you might be "into" Celine Dion or “The Bourne Identity.” Spanking is a part of my psyche, an essential element of my sexuality. It's not like slavering over cheerleaders, or fantasizing about sex on the beach at sunset. When I was a kid I used to look up the word "spanking" in the dictionary, and I got a visceral thrill when I saw a spanking scene on “Little House on the Prairie” or “I Love Lucy.” Eventually, Charles and I ended our relationship when he wouldn’t end it with his girlfriend. I talked with my therapist, Dr. B, about how the emotional part of the relationship hadn’t been right, but my sexual chemistry with Charles had been spot-on. Jennifer caught me, of course. I'd driven 300 miles to go to a small spanking party in Washington, DC. It was at someone's house, and it was two days of awesome. At one point, I was in a hot tub with a woman who acted in spanking films and the female host, a retired police lieutenant. But as exciting as that was, I wanted to experience spanking with someone I loved. I didn't want to have spanking on the side; I wanted it front and center. Let's pause here to discuss the possibility that he may feel uncomfortable just talking about spanking. Not the most comforting thought, but you can still prepare for that outcome.