Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future

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Support is voluntary. If either of you is placing expectations on the other, or if you feel the other owes their time and energy to your support, then you have a problem. Mutual love and respect rooted in emotional maturity in both parties is the only way for a relationship to truly thrive. This is what healing looks like. To be supportive of each other, you need to understand that no one can make you happy. Expecting your partner to be the source of your happiness will doom your relationship to extreme stress and likely failure.

Just realizing the origin of your reactions is an important first step in healing. For our purposes, let’s define healing as reprogramming your brain from being in a reactionary or survival state to being in a conscious or logical state. An enlightening, cathartic book providing accessible insight into personal healing and positive change.The author, Yung Pueblo, discovered his path to healing after reaching the edge of death due to drug addiction and a life of pleasure-seeking. In his work, he talks about the healing journey and the power of actively working on your own growth so you can enjoy success and deeper relationships every day of your life. In this Blink, we’ll share some of his stories and advice. To learn of yung pueblo’s beginnings in this intimate book is a gift. Lighter helps us understand the daily ways in which his deep­ening practice has impacted an entire generation of seekers. His words leave an indelible mark—his struggle with self-abandon­ment and his personal process of compassionate self-connection have quietly inspired millions of us. yung pueblo’s humble, po­tent teachings help us prioritize our emotional maturity in the face of constant change, a vital understanding in these turbulent times.” —Elena Brower, bestselling author of Practice You, Being You, and Art of Attention He also places particular emphasis on the importance of renouncing the submissive belief that we do not have power over our mental situation, when in fact we all have the potential for peace of mind through intentional action. Through our 'attachments', we jeopardise that potential because we attempt to control reality, meaning we never live in the present by constantly imagining what is missing or how we wish things to be. This is dangerous as it is a rejection of how things really are. When you react impulsively now, that reaction is programmed based on past experiences. It’s not a reaction to the situation right now. For example, maybe as a young child your father disapproved of crying. Maybe instead of comforting you, he shamed you. Fast forward 30 years, you’re at work complaining about the coffee being too strong. A coworker walks by and tells you to stop whining about it, and without warning, you’re overwhelmed by anger and you lash out at them.

Chances are, there’s a pattern to the things that trigger your emotions. Using the last example, you may notice that your pattern is to react with anger anytime someone questions your intestinal fortitude. Tap into that self-love and take a look at your patterns. Approach yourself with curiosity. Leave judgment behind. Ask yourself what is at the root of your emotional reaction? What do you want that you can’t have? What do you crave that is out of your reach? It also sheds fascinating light on the extent to which our minds are so heavily conditioned based on our past. The brain unconciously bends our perception of reality to meet our expectations or desires, and fills in the gaps based on past experiences: 'Our perception is completely coloured by our past and our reactions seek to repeat themselves endlessly'. we feel so safe with the ones we love that we often share with them our tension, our stress, our fear, our sadness, and even our anger but let us remember to also give them the best version of ourselves, our joy and happiness, our excitement and peace, our attention and care”Yung Pueblo offers a lot of insights on how you can live a lighter and more impactful life. I love how he details the need to go slower and do a lot of reflection.