Her Name in the Sky

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We got some,” Felix says, fishing them out of the grocery bag. He places them carefully into the king cake, spacing them equidistant from each other and taking pains not to mess up the icing more than he has to, and Lisa imagines him doing this for his mom or his little brothers with the same deliberate care. I can ignore it, she thinks. I can refuse to look at it. I can stomp on it every time it springs up within me.

Sana hikes her eyebrows as she crosses the room to fetch the rosary bag. “Probably should set a better example for the student body,” she says under her breathe. They say goodbye to the boys and to Jisoo—“Don’t come home too late,” Lisa tells her, “I don’t want another joint lecture from Mom”—and then they make their way through the house, their classmates parting for them like the two halves of the Red Sea, everyone begging them to stay, to have one more drink, to listen to one more song. Yeah,” Jin says, sweeping crumbs into his hands, “everyone’s going to think I’ve been taking a huge shit or something.”

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And Lisa finds herself praying again, and she feels God coursing through her body and blood, but this time she knows it’s with jubilation. Overall, I never want to think about this book again. I would never recommend it to anyone, let alone an actual sapphic person like myself that has to read about such a repulsive love interest and have it be presented to us as romance.

Chaeyoung looks sideways at her, then pulls a scarlet dress down from the closet and drapes it over Lisa’s head, and Lisa isn’t aware of anything expect Chaeyoung’s laugh, a laugh with a life force all its own. We thank you for our athletes, these young men who will represent our school tonight and who will seek to glorify you with their performance,” Father Cho says. “We know you have endowed them with special gift—“

I’m going to tell her you’re fornicating in the park and she’d better buy you a new chastity belt.”

The student body breaks into whooping and applause. It starts in Hannah’s section, with the senior class, and moves all around the gym as the juniors, sophomores, and freshmen echo their older peers. “Yeah!” Luke shouts amidst all the cheering. “Bring on the burritos!” Interrupt yourself halfway through, make your eyes go wide, and shout, OH MY GOD! I JUST SAW JESUS UP THERE IN THE STANDS!Don’t make me blush, Lis,” Jungkook says, clapping a hand to her shoulder. “Where’s everyone else?” Amen,” Hannah mutters, tossing the word into the great rush of “Amen” that sweeps across the gym. She raises her hand to her forehead to make the same Sign of the Cross that everyone else is making, the words and actions ingrained in her brain, her movements mirroring those of every other person in the gym. They drive to City Park afterwards and sit in Lisa’s car, and Lisa thinks of all the times she came here late at night and wished for something better for them. “Did you know,” Lisa says, surprising herself, “that being around you is my favorite thing in the world?” Amen, Hannah mutters, tossing the word into the great rush of Amen that sweeps across the gym. She raises her hand to her forehead to make the same Sign of the Cross that everyone else is making, the words and actions ingrained in her brain, her movements mirroring those of every other person in the gym.

Anyway, I just have this feeling about tonight, Clay says. I can’t explain it, but I know we’re going to win. You know? Chaeyoung kisses the side of Lisa’s face, right where her skin meets her hairline. “I didn’t feel like I did,” she says. “But I do now.”

Jungkook runs a hand through his dark hair and mutters “Big night” for the third time, and then a building door opens several yards behind him. Felix and I request your presence in the senior lounge. We have beignets from coffee call. Hurry bitches! Baker laughs along with the rest of the gym. She runs a hand through her hair, her smile relaxed and unguarded like it is when she tells Hannah stories late at night. “Hi, y’all,” she says.