Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You

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If your communication usually happens once per day, then both you and your co-parent should try and sum up all that there is to say in one clear and concise message to reduce any conflict opportunity.

In many cases, this happens when an ex is still sore over the breakup, resentful about events that may have transpired, or otherwise trying to get back at you for one reason or another. If one parent clearly sees their own human flaws and vulnerabilities, they are more likely to be able to put their kids’ needs before their own. In situations where there is a lack of trust or potential for false allegations, it may be necessary to arrange pick-ups and drop-offs in the presence of a witness. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism.Not only does this behavior create tension, it also causes stress to the children and provides a bad example,” says Valencia. Obviously, if your exposes a genuine threat or danger to your children, this changes the situation; however, if your ex’s animosity is limited to how they interact with you, swallowing it and figuring out successful coping strategies are ultimately the best courses of action. When you’re co-parenting with your ex, it’s essential never to bring the children into your conflicts, as it can damage their emotional and mental development.

The ability to get advice from others who have been through what you’re learning can truly make your situation easier and less stressful. As soon as I Started the book, I was able to apply some of the strategies and this made a world of a difference.A separation or divorce is never easy on kids, and they’ll need lots of love and reassurance to help them through the transition.

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Give them enough validation to let them know you are hearing them, but that does not mean you are agreeing with them.